Saigon

So I hear through the vine of grapes that Bobbio is concerned about my lack of moral fibre. Bobbie for those of you who don't know is my dear old ma. Nice to think that your own mother thinks you are a sleazy old soak lol! Seriously Bobs, really? From the fifty bloggages I have published since my departure you hone in on that!!! For your own wellbeing please try and see the good in people, even little old me. It will probably make Bobbieland a much happier place to inhabit.

So contrary to advice I am not going to change content and stylage of bloggingtons. I happen to think I turned out OK, which of course is a credit to both Bobs and Mike. I try and live a good life, apologise if I fook up and if folk feel the need to judge then that is their issue, not mine.

So what did I do on my first day in Saigon? Well I booked on a tour to see the Cu Chi tunnels, an extensive network of tunnels outside Saigon which were used by the Viet Cong resistance fighting the occupying US forces in the South.

First stop was an organisation that supports disabled people by teaching them to make handicrafts which are then sold to touristos.

Many of the people here have physical defects due to genetic abnormalities caused by agent orange exposure.

These guys are using dyed pieces of eggshell to create intricate mosaic patterns.

I ended up buying 4 coasters at 5 dollars a pop, expensive even by UK standards. Still I know they are authentic, the money is going to a good cause and the shop assistant was both charming and persistent.

Next stop the Cu Chi tunnels, this is the actual entrance which used to be covered by a trap door and camouflaged, very teeny tiny indeed, I could just about squeeze my western sized butt through.

Tankage...

Traps were only used in 1966/7 before the Viet Cong had access to artillery.

The traps only maimed and did not kill. They were modelled on the traps used for hunting animals.

The Viet Cong used unexploded US shells and discarded coke and beer cans to make homemade landmines.

Shoes were made from old tyres. No wonder all the locals can run up mountains in flip flops in the pouring rain.

Adilady in the tunnels, check out the red eye on the kid behind, Damian the Antichrist or what?

Display of US artillery.

What made me happy? Meet Tung our singing guide, I loved him to bits.

He is 66, fought for the Viet Cong and fought and lived in these very tunnels. His brothers died here. He sang very cute but a bit rubbish songs that went something like this:

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Cu Chi tunnels,

You come by plane, you come by train, you come by bus,

From north to south, from south to north,

You visit my beautiful homeland.

Follow me to Cu Chi tunnels, follow me to Cu Chi tunnels,

Where the brave Viet Cong fought our aggressors,

Freedom for my homeland, we crushed our enemy,

And now I lead the tourist tour, follow me to Cu Chi tunnels."

In the afternoon I went to the fine art gallery which is housed in an impressive French colonial building; all artists and exhibits are Vietnamese.

I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would, the old stuff was a bit Dullsville but I did like the Yodaesque ceramic figurines.

I have taken random photos of paintings and sculptures that caught my attention and separated them into 'war art' and 'life art.' First up life art...

This painting is entitled 'hurry up', which I thought was cute.

These guys are mending fishing nets, I saw such a scene first hand when visiting Cat Ba.

I can't remember a damn thing about this sculpture...

My hotel in Hanoi was on this street.

I thought she was a pretty lady.

This sculpture made me howl, it reminds me so much of a woman I used to work with in my first job. She used to claim she was a size 10 and cram her fleshy parts into clothes that were way too small. Bulging boobage and split kippers a go-go, not a pretty sight. Why do some women do that? Lol.

The Hmong love market in Sapa.

Modern art, which I happen to really like. This is entitled 'Heaven and Earth Flow.'

Some crazy masks.

Next up, war art, I will just give you the titles...

The people want revenge on their enemies.

Help us!

Agent Orange.

In the evening I went to the water puppet show. I had the misfortune of sitting in front of some really stupid Ozzy blokes who kept doing 'ching chong chinamen' impressions and complaining they had been given rubbish seats because they were 'western.' 

I'm like, 'hey dickage, 90% of the fooking audience are western, maybe you just got here late and what's with the mimicking, learn some goddam manners.' 

Are Australians even considered western??

Anyway, I took some video clipage of the performance to upload onto bloggingtons but being a total Luddite in all matters technological I fooked up the transfer, pressed save and now they are on a cloud somewhere never to be seen again. To be honest you are not missing much in my humblests. All those pentatonic scales and high pitched wailingtons really started to grate and I had no clue as to what the hell was going on. Photos below...

Puppets,

Stage,

Musicians,

More puppets,

The puppeteeros.

The end.

So I got back to my room about 8pm and e mailed Hardy to tell him I was way too tired to meet for dinner. Bloggage, bookage then early to bed for Adi lady, I'm still worn out by my epic journey to get here.

Tomorrow I'm visiting the War Remnants Museum and Independence Palace. Will blog about it soon, Adilady over and out xxxx