Cacophonous Chorus

Another night of limited kippage for Adi lady which has left me very grumpsville indeed. A cacophonous chorus of snoringtons (roomy), trumpeting (hephalumps), barkingtons (countless, roaming dogs) and what sounded like drillingtons (bats!?) Kept up their wall of sound until the early hours. This was complimented by the thumperty, thumperty thump of the monsoon meeting corrugated iron and ear plugs were only able to muffle...

When slumber did finally beckon she was rudely awakened by a repeated 6 am alarm, the likes of which nobody dare claim. My Bilbo Bagginses are back with a vengeance.

So today sees me cutting corn and in their ignorance the staff here have let me loose with a machete. I'm pretty proud of myself, I finished the day with ten digits. 

 I liked these flowers...

And this is a chilli bush.

This is my roomy Carey, she is ace (apart from snoringtons). We have the same temperament and sense of humour; we could be sisters (except she's blonde and buxom).

Wielding a machete was a piece of cake, it was loading the van afterwards that was sweaty work. Smell more like mouldy meat pie than ever, can't imagine ever being clean.

Met a fellow Manc, Simon. I'd guess he is about mid thirties and from Prestwich. I did try and engage him in chattingtons but he was more interested in flirting with the twentysomethings by putting grass down their backs. Yep that should do it, a sure way to get laid.

We only did half a days work so rest of bloggingtons are my photos for the day. Dinner at 6.30 (the food is fabso), followed by Thai language and culture class.

Baby with mum...

Arty hephalump shot...

There are hundreds of dogs just roaming about, tres unhygienic...

Bath time.

Tomorrow I'm in the elephant kitchen followed by weeding duties. It's beer o'clock so over and out xxx

Elephant Sanctuary

Not much to report today. I'm still very tired after my mammoth 16 hour journey and arrived at the elephant sanctuary meeting office in Chang Mai at 8 am this morning. A litter of puppies had just been brought in by a couple of tourists; they had found them abandoned behind a bin. There is also a dog sanctuary here, 35 elephants and 400 dogs, one of which pissed all over our luggage, bloody cheek.

A leisurely day checking in and getting our bearings. We watched a really distressing video regarding the ancient Thai custom for breaking in the elephants. They are caged and beaten for days until they capitulate. The founder of the sanctuary, Lek Chilert is trying to re-educate the mahout to use positive praise instead, she practises it very successfully here at the sanctuary.

Here are some pictures I have taken...

Before dinner we received a traditional Thai blessing, I should now have plenty of good fortune, hurrah.

What famous 20th century historical figure does this cat resemble? The locals call him Uncle Moustache.

Have met some fabso people which will probably mean bloggingtons will be short. Off to bed, over and out xxx

Koh Sumui

Not much to report as I have been chilling with me mate Kate since Tuesday.

We met up in Bangkok Tuesday night, it had been Kate's birthday the day before and our honoured tradition is no gifts but none birthday girl has to buy birthday girl dinner; cost me 6 quid- result. No boozage allowed due to 'some stupid Buddha thing' as our waiter put it.

Wednesday morning we headed to the idyllic island paradise of Koh Sumui; took a taxi, plane, bus, ferry and minibus, an epic journey indeed.

We stayed in South Lumai Beach, which I have renamed Sleepsville due to the lack of personages out and about after 9pm. We got all dollied up on our first night, with only ourselves to appreciate the effort. Still I can show you the pics, Kate says a backpacker in Valentino is a complete oxymoron, but it is indeed a fact lol, check me out...

Check Kate out...

We discovered a fantastic restaurant called Choochat, run by a husband and wife duo. The food was cooked from fresh and in front of our eyes. The fishcakes were to die for and we had two helpings.

Day 2 was a snorkel boat to Koh Tao. The world and his wife had decided on a trip to Koh Tao that day so we were herded, stamped, assigned numbers and rounded up to board our particular speed boat; ours was number 10. A very bumpy ride indeed.

Waiting for our taxi...

Views of Koh Tao, the coastline is breathtaking. As an aquaphobic none swimmer I am indeed a virgin snorkeller but the addition of a floating jacket meant I was prepared to venture in. I'm so glad I did, it's like an alien landscape down there, the topography of the corals forming mini underwater turrets and temples inhabited by floating angels of every shape, size and hue. I wish I could have taken some photos as my words are alas an inept description...

Then we were off to Koh Nung Yuan for more snorkelling and beach lolling, an opportunity to take some bikini shots to remind us when we're old and grey that we once had it going on lol.

Me trying to rival Kate's cleavage, no chance!

Then it was off for the 30 minute clamber to the viewpoint to take a scenic shot or two. I have come to the conclusion on this trip dear readers that I am indeed half woman, half goat. I am absolutely staggered by the inability of mere mortals (especially the female of the species) to navigate anything remotely steep; and that includes a simple staircase. I have seen women at Angkor Wat clinging to bannisters frozen in fear whilst their husbands talk them through every step. At the top of this particular viewpoint was a bit of a scramble which caused chaos, panic and gridlock. I think maybe its a vertigo thing and noticed that when I was talking Kate down she struggled judging how far away her feet were from the ground. Needless to say I was a supportive and sensitive friend (not!) Kinda legged it up there without much thought so sorry about that K.

Here is the view.

We both got tres frazzed and I was wearing factor 50! I am now officially the stripiest Adilady on the planet. Last photo is of my stripy feet but it doesn't show the full extent of my new look.

The evening saw us out on the town in Sleepsville, where we had to make our own party as everybody else had retreated to their cave. I don't mind telling you I got a bit pissed but Kate, bless her cottons got totally wankered. She drank a double vodka and bicardi breezer for every one of my weedy bottles of beer. By the end of the night she had taken over the bar, sent the old Thai lady to the 7/11 to buy coconut milk and was busy mixing Pine Coladas! This was followed by a game of truth or dare for one (I didn't engage) and Kate streaked outside our bungalow. Jeez man, I had visions of having to bail her out of a Thai gaol the next morning.

Pinecoladagate.

Day 3 was spend in the shade watching Kate nurse her hangover. Here are some photos of the beach. 

Early night for Adi lady as I'm up at 5.30 am to embark on a 16 hour journey to Chang Mai. Monday is the start of the elephant sanctuary; can't wait... Over and out xxxx

Ouch!

The Grand Palace

Apologies readers as this blog will be rushed and therefore badly written and thrown together. I completed it whilst in PP airport and the bugger didn't save. Starting from scratchio and a tad peed off...

Yesterday morning I surfaced early to go and see the Grand Palace, I'm really glad I did as I very nearly rolled straight over to go back to sleepsville.

I decided to pay for a guide otherwise I would have no idea what the hell I was looking at. This is Sothearith and like all the Cambodians I have met he was humble, honest and spoke excellent English.

 Abridged history of the Palace as follows, although the accuracy of my memory may be circumspect.

1. 1 AD to 6 AD; the Kings of Khmer had their palaces in the mountains and were known as mountain kings.
2. From 6AD influences from India brought Hinduism. The Khmer King wanted to build his Palace at the centre of the universe so that he had a direct path to the gods; even this early they had sussed out the world was round and were searching for a pathway from the earth's core to the heavens. Angkor was chosen as there were no shadows; they believed this meant they had found the centre. Angkor remained the seat of power until the 16th century.
3. Wars with Thailand meant Angkor was vulnerable so the seat of power was moved to a more central location.
4. The Grand Palace of today was built in 18 hundred and something. Cambodia was under threat from Thailand and Vietnam and there were many wars. The king looked to Napoleon to restore peace and there was a great friendship between the countries.

Other interesting facts. Pol Pot lived in the palace as a small boy, his sister was the concubine of the king. This enabled him to be sent to France to study electrical engineering and it was here he developed his beliefs in Marxism, Maoism and communism. When the Khmer Rouge first came to power and emptied the cities the families of Pol Pot's cadres lived in the grounds of the palace. When paranoia set in and he suspected them of spying they were sent with their families to S21 to be killed. The only royals to survive the KR were those studying abroad. The king was kept alive to rubber stamp policy and to make the regime seem more acceptable to the west.

The palace is incredibly ornate inside but unfortunately photographs were not permitted. Check out the intricate carvings on this door...

The royal crest.

This is where the king resides, flag's up so he is at home. He is 60 and single (gay?) Sothearith offered to pass on my details... Just imagine, me as Cambodia's answer to Kate Middleton. I believe she's had a baby (big dealio). I swear to God, now I'm travelling as far as news is concerned I may as well be living in a cave!

I think  this is where they housed the elephants before cars were invented.

The king addresses his subjects from here, it backs on to the street.

Royal robes, either wedding or coronation, can't quite remember.

The ancient Khymers believed there were 7 planets and 7 mountains and rivers to cross to get to the centre of the universe. That is why they have 7 days of the week and all palace employees have to wear a set colour for each day. Yesterday was Tuesday so all the guides wore purple shirts.

The Silver Pagoda was a joy to behold in all its splendour. The emerald Buddha is genuinely made from emerald and not jade. It resides in a golden, diamond encrusted case. The silver floor is made from French colonial coins and there is a life sized statue of the 5th Buddha who has not yet been or gone. I hadn't realised this 5th Buddha is going to be female; Cheryl Cole after all?

This monument to Napoleon is to celebrate his friendship with the then king. That particular king is buried here.

The other subsequent kings were cremated and their ashes placed in these stupas (all two if them).

The walls are decorated with stories from Hinduism. This is the giant chasing the spirit monkey.

Nice flower, phew, rewritten in 20 minutes. Adilady over and out xx