Rivendell? Really?

We were mis-sold our movie tour as Rivendell wasn't even on the agenda, very disappointing:(

Our tour guide Ted picked us up from the centre of Wellibobs and drove us and a minibus load of rings fanatics to a park in the suburbs. The aim of the day? Fooking tree spotting!!!! To say we were underwhelmed is the understatement of the century, we had driven 5 fooking hours out of our way to see Elves and Rivendell Forest. Instead we had to suffer 4 hours of a mashed together, amateurish jaunt which could have been completed in 20 goddamn minutes. Ted mate, you really must try harder...

To begin with we were both exceedingly Grumpsville meets Mardytown but after a while we decided to embrace the cheesefest. First famous tree to spot, can you guess which characters Adilady and Kirstypops are playing?

This Scottish family volunteered for everything, well their dad did. Can you believe people pay good money to make arses of themselves? Last I heard 'Game for a Laugh' went off air in the 80s, Jeremy Beadle was playing his harp and Matthew Kelly had become a serious thesp. When Scottish dad got down on his hands and knees and was straddled by a ringwraith wearing illuminous trainers we could take it no more. I laughed so hard a bit of pee came out.

In for a penny in for a pound my precious...

And the highlight of the tour? Adilady breaking into the acting business by playing the back end of the pantomime wraith. My career worries are well and truly over:D

After tree spottage next stop was WETA caves. WETA do all of the special effects for Peter Jackson's movies and have worked on Hollywood blockbusters such as Avitar, Planet of the Apes and Superman. We didn't get a tour though:( Instead we watched a short film about their work (Adilady went to Snoozeville) and then we had an hour to kill in the shop. After taking pics of the models there wasn't a right lot to do. Kirstypops got sooo bored she almost spent 300 bucks on a replica of Arwen's Evenstar. WTF!!! I think Teddy boy was definitely on commission.

  
At 5pm we were all ready to call it a day but no, Teddy took us on a tour  of a bunch of warehouses owned by Peter Jackson's film company. From the outside they were just dull, dull, dull even though loads of ringbores were taking plenty of snapages. Ted was really scraping the bottom of the barrel, he showed us a school where the village of Bree had once stood. BUT IT'S NO LONGER THERE SO NOBODY GIVES A FOOK!!! Ted my man, give it up and turn it loose.

We got back to Wellibobs at 6.30pm, that is 4 hours of our lives we will never get back. Y'know what? I'm kinda thinking to keep the mystery alive I will avoid movie tours in the future. I am sooo gonna watch the films again when I get back to blighty.

So it was into the camperage to head North, a 5 hour drive to Waitomo Caves awaited us and we needed to hit the road. This is Adilady and Kirstypops saying goodnight and over and out xxxx