Rivendell? Really?

We were mis-sold our movie tour as Rivendell wasn't even on the agenda, very disappointing:(

Our tour guide Ted picked us up from the centre of Wellibobs and drove us and a minibus load of rings fanatics to a park in the suburbs. The aim of the day? Fooking tree spotting!!!! To say we were underwhelmed is the understatement of the century, we had driven 5 fooking hours out of our way to see Elves and Rivendell Forest. Instead we had to suffer 4 hours of a mashed together, amateurish jaunt which could have been completed in 20 goddamn minutes. Ted mate, you really must try harder...

To begin with we were both exceedingly Grumpsville meets Mardytown but after a while we decided to embrace the cheesefest. First famous tree to spot, can you guess which characters Adilady and Kirstypops are playing?

This Scottish family volunteered for everything, well their dad did. Can you believe people pay good money to make arses of themselves? Last I heard 'Game for a Laugh' went off air in the 80s, Jeremy Beadle was playing his harp and Matthew Kelly had become a serious thesp. When Scottish dad got down on his hands and knees and was straddled by a ringwraith wearing illuminous trainers we could take it no more. I laughed so hard a bit of pee came out.

In for a penny in for a pound my precious...

And the highlight of the tour? Adilady breaking into the acting business by playing the back end of the pantomime wraith. My career worries are well and truly over:D

After tree spottage next stop was WETA caves. WETA do all of the special effects for Peter Jackson's movies and have worked on Hollywood blockbusters such as Avitar, Planet of the Apes and Superman. We didn't get a tour though:( Instead we watched a short film about their work (Adilady went to Snoozeville) and then we had an hour to kill in the shop. After taking pics of the models there wasn't a right lot to do. Kirstypops got sooo bored she almost spent 300 bucks on a replica of Arwen's Evenstar. WTF!!! I think Teddy boy was definitely on commission.

  
At 5pm we were all ready to call it a day but no, Teddy took us on a tour  of a bunch of warehouses owned by Peter Jackson's film company. From the outside they were just dull, dull, dull even though loads of ringbores were taking plenty of snapages. Ted was really scraping the bottom of the barrel, he showed us a school where the village of Bree had once stood. BUT IT'S NO LONGER THERE SO NOBODY GIVES A FOOK!!! Ted my man, give it up and turn it loose.

We got back to Wellibobs at 6.30pm, that is 4 hours of our lives we will never get back. Y'know what? I'm kinda thinking to keep the mystery alive I will avoid movie tours in the future. I am sooo gonna watch the films again when I get back to blighty.

So it was into the camperage to head North, a 5 hour drive to Waitomo Caves awaited us and we needed to hit the road. This is Adilady and Kirstypops saying goodnight and over and out xxxx

Tongariro

Sunday was magical, we spent 8 happy hours walking the Tongariro Alpine Crossing with Tom our guide. Tom is an ex chav from Folkstone in Kent and a born again Kiwi. He is a self confessed job slut and at the ripe old age of 32 has been a bar man, entertainment coordinator on a cruise ship, hotel manager and ski instructor. He is also a self taught stocks and shares guy.

This is Mt Ruapehu (I think). Google+ very kindly added the festive twist.

And this is Mt Ngauruhoe aka Mount Doom, how fooking exciting is that!!!

I can't remember the name of this distant mountain but Kirstypops calls it Mt Chicken Teriyaki which is close enough. Tom says to climb to the top is a 10 hour round trip and hardly anybody ever goes; I'm sooo gonna do it after Crimbo:-D 

Tom took us off the main trail because we are fit, 'up for it' Mancbirds, which was a massive bonus as we were away from all the crowds.

We even got to lunch at the summit of Mt Tongariro, the official trail only goes past. Here are the photos...

Behold the might of Mordor, how zero kelvin cool??? 

After lunch we went off the beaten track again and walked on virgin volcanic ash in the south crater. Tom reckons our footprints could still be there in 6 months, I'm just loving Tongariro: D

It is the closest thing to being on the moon.

This volcano erupted on 21st November 2012, Tom was only kilometres away with a group of school kids and had to get them safely down. He was on the news and had his 15 minutes of fame, can't find it on YouTube:(

We did role play it though. This is Tom on the exact spot trying to get a signal...

And some more pictures. The volcano has been smoking ever since which I guess is good signage. 

We had a good laugh with Tom. He and KP nicknamed my look as 'chemo chic', bloody cheek. He also told us that the bus company that transports all the backpackers is affectionately called 'vagina liners' by all the tour guides. That made us howl.

In the evening we camped in this beautiful spot at the foot of Mount Doom, check us out?

And the panoramic view was stunning.

We are currently in Wellington, I'm in the library catching up on bloggingtons and Kirstpops is playing out with her mate Andrea and her blokey Terry. We went out for dinner with them last night, a lovely couple. He is obsessed with Leonard Cohen and they are going to all his NZ gigs. Wellington tonight, we might join them in Auckland on 21st December.

We are off to Rivendell this afternoon, home of the majestic elves. Secretly I would like to come back as an elf, they are so noble and beautiful. Realistically hobbitses are more fun loving and adventurous; maybe I could be a hybrid lol. Gotta dash, meeting KP for lunch in 20 minutes. Much love as always, over and out xxxx